CHAPTER 1

I was woken up by a noise that seemed so far away, but I kept my eyes closed in the hope I would still go back to sleep. The noise kept going so I began to stir some more. I wanted to go back to sleep my eyes were so heavy I couldn’t open them. I then realised that the noise was my phone ringing under my pillow. I moved my hand around trying to find my phone without opening my eyes, but couldn’t find it. I opened my eyes slow just to find where my phone was and closed my eyes again. I quickly darted my hand over and grabbed my phone and answered it “Hello.” I always thought I would make my way through life as a receptionist.

“Hey there gorgeous”- It was my best friend Marcus

“What’s up?” still groggy I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Dude! You just awake?”

“Errr… no”

“Yea you were! Did you not set your alarm?”

“I swear I just closed my eyes for a minute” even I didn’t believe myself

“Well I’ll be home in a bit, I’ve got us a carryout.” - Click, he’d hung up.

I was awake now, so I threw of the covers, got up,  yawned and stretched, it was one of the ’wake up’ stretches that feel so damn good. I looked over at the clock it was 19:37 better get ready I thought. It was a Friday, possibly the best day of the week, I had been working all day as an accountant (boring I know but it pays the bill. Easy too, I was always good at math.) When I had finished work I came home and got into bed to chill out for a bit and listen to some choice tunes, but I must have dosed off so my alarm was a phone call from Marcus.

Marcus and I had made plans to go out after work tonight and party. Marcus wouldn’t be finished work until late so he would pick Sophie up on his way home. Well if I was to go out tonight I was probably going to need a shower, I lifted up my arms I sniffed my armpits- yep I definitely needed a shower. 

I rummaged around my room for a towel; the only clean one I had left was a white one with pink stripes I must have picked this up  the last time I was visiting my parents. I had no other choice I just hoped no one would see me with it. I wouldn’t be standing near any windows anyway. I looked around my room looking for my wash bag. The room reminded me of a plane crash or car crash with the rubble everywhere. This place was a mess. I don’t think I even saw a bit of carpet. I decided to do a quick tidy up in case I had a late night visitor. After cleaning I headed to the shower.

When I got out of the shower I was on my way to my room when two people came up the stairs. They turned to me, smiled then Sophie commented “Nice towel, I love the pink stripes.”

I replied with a cheeky grin. It was my two house mates- my best friend Marcus and his girlfriend Sophie. The three of us had lived together for the last 3 years. We all met at university. Marcus and I studied business for four years we lived together then too. I met Sophie when Marcus started going out with her in our final year. Sophie instead of business, dabbled in sports science at Loughborough.

“We got you a present.” Sophie said

“Really what is it? I asked I was like an excited puppy.

“Have a guess.” Marcus said this time; they nearly always took it in turns to speak.

“I have no Idea… sunglasses?” I love sunglasses and had a small collection.

“No even better.” she said. This was getting exciting.

“Just tell me.” Patience is a virtue, and I clearly don’t have it.

“A bottle of Buckfast.” As she said this she brandished a bottle of the rat poison from the depth of her bag then finished with;

 “We’ll let you get dressed then see you down stairs in a bit.”

Buckfast is the most horrible excuse for a bottle of wine I have ever drank, but in my younger days when I was at university and couldn’t afford much else I took a rather strange liking to it, it was drinkable and was like rocket fuel. Most nights were better when I had the stuff.

After getting ready in my room listening to my going out music I danced to it whilst getting dressed (and they say only girls can multitask.) I then headed down the stairs. Sophie and Marcus where waiting for me in the living room. Marcus was drinking whisky and coke and Sophie was drinking Magners. I went into the kitchen and grabbed my bottle, opened it and took a sip. Marcus and I found if you took a sip then made a ticking noise it felt better, I have no idea how this worked.

“Well how was work?” I started the conversation first.

“mmm” Marcus mumbled. - A bad day at work I presumed.

“Where are we heading out to the night then?” I queried

“It’s a surprise” It was Sophie’s turn to answer.

“What’s with you guys and your surprises?”

“It’s funny you look like a lost pup when you don’t know what’s going on.” Sophie said smiling at me.

As the evening went on we began to drink quicker and quicker it was coming on 11 when we got up to go out. We began walking into town, it wasn’t too far away, a small crawl back from the pub would take about 10-15 minutes, yet it only took five minutes to walk there from our house. On the way to the pub we had enough time to sing or try to sing ‘Bonkers’ by Dizzie Rascal it was Marcus’s favorite song.

Once in town the two of them directed me to a night club with a name I couldn’t read, some would blame the choice of neon lights that were used to illuminate the sign, others would just blame the drink it was one we always went to so it was no surprise at all. We wandered into the club together in our shirts and dress. The club was pretty busy and the bouncer at the door looked like he could have done with a little extra fitness in his life-more fat than muscle. The three of us walked through and I ordered the first round.  At this stage I was starting to feel slightly funny in a good way, with a little bit more confidence.

By the time we got upstairs out of the bar and into the actual club. I was starting to sway as I walked, it was fun I was enjoying it and I think the large smile on my face, was letting other people know that I was a little tipsy. The music was loud and very ‘dancey’ I didn’t mind it, as it would make for some funny photos. The bass of the music was so loud it was starting to control the rhythm of my heart beat. I began to walk to the dance floor, well more of a swagger but I was getting there. I was accompanied by Sophie, because Marcus was away getting more drinks. I began dancing with Sophie, she was quite the legend, she and I got on really well since we first met. We would always go out and she would be my wingman. We danced for about ten minutes until Marcus got over, then I went on the prowl. Well that was what Sophie liked to call it, she thought it was hilarious when I would go around the clubs trying to find a woman to kiss; it was fun between that and the dancing I loved going out.

After a couple of minutes I found a young blonde, probably around my age well hopefully old enough anyway. She had blue eyes and not too much make up on, a nice top and a short skirt but not too short. ‘Show time’ I thought. I walked over with my most confident smile - chicks love confident guys – I had heard that somewhere before.

“Hey there.” I said.

“Hi” - I was getting somewhere, a two letter reply.

“What’s your name?”

“Clare. Yours?”

“Antony”

“Cool”

“ So you come out here much?”

“Nope, not really I just finished with my boyfriend.” -a rebound I thought – this could lead somewhere.

“Is he blind? Someone as hot as you, single? It must be your lucky night”

“Why?”

“Because I’m single too.”

She just smiled at me

“What do you want to drink?” I asked

“Vodka and white.”

I turned to the barman and ordered a drink each.

“So what made you come to this place?” I inquired

 “I’m out with a couple of friends but they disappeared with a couple of guys.”

“So, they bring you here to get over a fella and then just leave you on your own? I think you should just leave them right now and come home with me.” I smiled a cheeky grin.

She laughed, she had a cute little giggle I was beginning to like her. It was time to go in for the kill- I learnt this move from one of my friends from University.

“You have the most beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever seen” I began knowing what her response would be

“You’re just saying that”

“No I’m not, are they even real?”

“Yeah they are.” She had a nervous giggle this time but still cute.

“They can’t be real, they’re too nice”

“They are” this time she was worried I wouldn’t believe her

“Close your eyes let me see.” This was it, I thought, now or never.

As she closed her eyes I leaned in and kissed her, luckily she kissed me back.

After a few minutes we began talking again and she was giggling away and I was laughing at her too, she was funny I liked that. Just then she rolled her eyes as a bouncer came pushing past, dragging a girl outside, Clare turned to me and said “Sorry I have to go that’s one of my friends that you want me to ditch” And with a smile she vanished.

I finished my drink at the bar and headed back over to the dance floor and met Marcus and Sophie.

“Well Romeo, not bad, not bad at all.”  Marcus shouted over the music.

“Oh you guys say the nicest things.” – I was still smiling I liked the girl and I hoped I’d see her later.

We danced for another while, and of course had a few more drinks, everything was starting to feel odd. By the time the bouncers were going to throw everyone out I had just downed three pints of water, it was tough but I hate hangovers.

Everyone started to head outside I had an image of sardines it was quite funny seeing everyone in the club trying to head through one set of double doors. After about five minutes we got out, this is where the fun starts. I began chatting to the closest bunch of girls when I saw a small guy run past with a police man’s hat, then I saw a tall, fat policeman trying to catch him. The crowd from the club all started cheering. As I was watching this hilarious scene I saw her, the beautiful blonde Clare across the road smiling at one of her friends. Marcus must have seen her too because he nudged me and said “Well Romeo, there’s your Juliet?”

I began to walk over, she saw me and waved, I continued walking, and when I got there she said

“Hey”

“Well hello there good looking” – I was still playing it cool.

“You have a good night?”

“Yeah and I couldn’t have done anything better to end it”

“Why what happened?”

“Nothing…yet” and then I leaned over and kissed her.

As we were kissing I was vaguely aware of my surroundings, I heard Marcus shouting something rude and I nearly laughed. It was all going quite well until I was pushed by someone. I stumbled over and just caught my feet; I looked over and saw five guys standing around me. The tallest of the five was glaring at me and said; “What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girl friend?”

I looked over at Clare while she said; “Trevor, we split up last week.”

At this point adrenaline began to pump around my body, it was starting to sober me up. I began to examine all five guys and sized them up, I probably could have taken three of them but not five and I hoped Marcus was still watching.

There were a few things I had learnt from being a black belt in kick boxing and thai kwon doe. I was national champion at kick boxing and had recently taking up thai kwon doe and soared through the belts, however no matter how good a fighter I was, the larger group always won. I knew that having the first punch was usually always crucial and a surprise hit was better.

Trevor walked right up and repeated his question, his face was now inches from mine.

“Look man” I said “I don’t wanna fight you”

I then I took a step back. Clare however just looked at me.

“I don’t give a fucking fuck you fucking ass wipe” what a guy, he was all about intimidation he had four men with him and was trying to frighten me with aggression – time to play along. I might not need Marcus after all the way this was going, I just had to get the first punch and the element of surprise.

“Dude, I don’t wanna fight you, surely we can work something out? Do you want money?”

 Trevor just looked at me stunned at my response - my plan had worked. Just as Trevor went to open his mouth I swung my elbow into his face he fell silently to the ground his other friends just looked at me stunned. I got to one of them before they had even reacted, I kicked him just below the ribs to wind him, when he went down to his knee I hammered my knee into his nose. I could feel his nose implode under my knee and following through the blood went everywhere.

Just as I turned to the other three one of them speared me to the ground. I got my elbow and I aimed a strike onto his collar bone. There was a loud crack that broke into the air… success. The man screamed but he still hadn’t let go, so I threw my elbow in again. This time he let go, but too late, another assailant was kicking towards my head. I got my hands up just in time. I rolled away towards the road and flipped myself to my feet, two left. Just then Marcus ran past me and tackled one to the ground and started to punch him in the face. The other got slightly distracted by this and took his eyes off me for a second- his one and only mistake. This gave me time to get him with a flying kick to his head and then chest with my lower leg. I had time to think why had no one tried to separate the fight there was a bit of cheering from everyone surrounding us but why was I not being pulled off these people?

 I scrambled to my feet to see Marcus and the man he was fighting were on their feet. Marcus was backing off when the man swung for him, Marcus swayed back dodging it and threw a punch which landed on the man’s stomach. The man doubled over so Marcus finished him off with a right hook. As the man fell his head awkwardly landed on a curb and instantly his body jerked straight and then relaxed, laid sprawled out on the street surround by the crowd.

But silence wouldn’t help we all knew he was dead.

CHAPTER 2

The rest of the night went by in a blurry haze. I vaguely remember the police and ambulance sirens, how the lights danced across the darkened sky. The red and blue flashing lights illuminating faces in the crowd. I caught a glimpse of Marcus and even with the flashing red and blue there was still no colour on his face. The police man with no hat had arrived and started asking questions, he must have called for backup because more policemen arrived. No one moved probably afraid to, incase their legs didn’t work, I was in shock and I’m sure most of the others were too. I managed to move, taking one step at a time slowly lifting my left leg forward then slowly my right. I continued until I got to a wall when a policeman with one distinguishing feature- a moustache, began asking me questions.

This went on for hours, the questions, the crowd, the sirens, the lights, everything was a haze. Shock is a lovely thing, a numbing sensation, no control over my body, or was it the drink? I just sat there answering questions watching people stand and gather, then eventually get moved away by the police. I was then also moved by a policeman, into a police car and then I was taken to a cell for the night. During the drive I saw the street lights flow away passing the car blinking in every so often. I was reminded of images of fairies I had conjured up as a kid. There was a small drizzle of rain and I watched as the lights jumped to each rain drop in perfect harmonization. I was over thinking. I was drunk. I was not in a happy place but a dream; a day dream starring into nothing, subconsciously delaying the inevitable.

As I got to the police station I was accompanied down to my cell. There was a bed, only one bed- thank fuck. I sat on it and then put my head down. It felt nice to lie down comfy warm, friendly. I  fell instantly into a deep sleep, surprisingly after everything that had happened but my body must have been drained because it was a dreamless night, deep and rejuvenating.

                                                     ***       

I woke the next day I was in bed, a bed it wasn’t mine it didn’t feel right it was uncomfortable it wasn’t springs it was that rubbery cheap mattress. How did I manage to sleep on this bed? Then the headache came and everything began to seep in. The memories of the night before, Marcus I thought, and I jumped up. I was in a cell, boring grey colours filled the room and so did the stench of urine, the toilet was beside the bed. The bed, it was revolting.  I jumped further away from it up afraid to touch anything. I was still wearing the clothes from the night before they were covered in blood I could feel it on my face too, I probably looked like a tomato.

The complications of last night were starting to dawn on me. Marcus and I were fucked! Marcus had killed somebody and I had knocked a few out. I’ve seen on films that people never talk without a lawyer present maybe I should do the same but would that make me look guilty? Ah fuck the blood on my shirt and all the eye witnesses and police report would make me look guilty.

At that moment a police man opened a door, he looked at me, it was the man from last night with the moustache. “Come on son” he said with a nod of his head. Before I did anything I thought, what would they do in the movies? I followed him what else could I have done?

He walked me to another room where my parents stood waiting tears rolling down their faces, I’ve never been so glad to see them in my life but I feared to show it. There was paper work to fill in, once that was finished I was free to go. The police man who I later found out was called Mike (Mike and the Mighty Moustache, I thought to myself.) told me no one was pressing charges (yes he actually used that phrase - like a movie) so they couldn’t hold me, however the public prosecution service would be prosecuting me and this would take a long time to be processed and would more than likely be community service and a fine. Marcus unfortunately was going to have to stay another few nights until he got a hearing to see when he had a court date. It was all very technical and of course scary.

Once in the car, my dad drove, my mum was hysterical, she was in tears with worry, she couldn’t even speak. My dad however just looked at me via the rear view mirror, “Well?” he said. I filled him in on everything even the chat up line mum threw a few laughs into her hysterical sobs but other than that they said nothing.

I was close to my mum and dad, I kept in touch at least once a week and visited at least one Sunday a month. Marcus and Sophie often came with me and my mum and dad were fond of them.

My dad took a left and I instantly knew he wasn’t driving home, I sat up in the back seat and looked at him and then I realised he was driving to my house. I already knew but he said it any way “Sophie’s at the house.”

We arrived at the house and I ran to the door, got my keys into the lock twisted and flung the door open. I saw Sophie sitting there in the living room in silent tears, she looked up and smiled, I ran over to her, picked her up and held her tight, I didn’t want to let go. Everything had changed because of one night out I just wanted everything to go back to normal.

Mum and Dad walked in and interrupted the embrace between Sophie and I. My Mum just walked over and hugged her too. Dad stood back, he was about to say something when mum had already started speaking

“You have to come and stay with us dear, this is awful its just…..” she trailed of into tears.

We chatted for another few minutes then Sophie and I went up stairs and packed some things for the house. I already had a few spare things at the house –tooth brush, towel, a few pairs of boxers, things like that, so I threw what I needed into a backpack and waited down stairs for Sophie. Mum and dad where in the car leaving us alone to talk about last night, but I didn’t want to say anything yet, this was my fault - Marcus was in  all this trouble thanks to me.

                                             ***

We arrived at the house after around an hour. It was surreal ,everything seemed different. Nothing had changed but it was all different. My brother was just lounging around the house watching some TV. Mum and Dad headed into the kitchen, whilst Sophie and I walked into the living room. My brother David looked up at me, I could see him thinking of something to say but he couldn’t so he turned and continued watching TV.

Sophie and I stood for about five minutes, watching TV then decided to leave. We headed out the front door and began to walk.

“This is mad, what do you think’ll happen to Marcus?” Sophie started.

“I have no idea I don’t even want to know I’m so worried the worset part is this is all my fault” I was then interrupted by Sophie

“Don’t you dare say that this is not your fault or Marcus’s fault this was their fault they deserve to be in court not Marcus.”

“Why did he have to jump in?” I asked myself out loud.

“He had to he’s your friend.”

“You think he’ll go to jail?” I said testing Sophie’s reaction

“More than likely” she said starting to get tears again

“We should buy him the ‘Prison Break’ box set – so he can get out – Sophie smiled and we both began laughing unable to help ourselves.

Sophie and I were very close and we both knew it. We were probably a little too close to be friends but nothing had ever happened. I remember when Marcus had first met her I wished for a long time that I had met her first but there was nothing I could do about it. The two of them were brilliant together and I was so happy for the two of them.

There was once when Marcus had left on a business trip when Sophie and I got drunk together we headed out, that night when we got home we lay in the same bed and she cuddled into me. It was nice and the next morning I wanted to keep it going for ever but I knew we were just friends and this is probably why I didn’t feel guilty. Sophie however had work to go to. I didn’t know if she ever told Marcus but I don’t think she thought anything of it anyway.

The ding of the shop bell as we opened the door brought me out of my trance I bought us an ice-lolly each, and some sour sweets for Sophie, her favorite. I knew she needed cheering up. It was funny walking back up the road I didn’t think I could feel anymore guilty yet here I was, I had started a fight which had ended with my best friend going to jail and here I am pretending like nothing’s happened with his girlfriend. Just to keep her happy but I knew once I left her alone her feelings would break though this smiling facade and her tanned face would become distorted with grief, but for now I would keep her distracted.